The White Blizzard

Well, it's that time of year again, where I will scar young children for life, give elderly people heart attacks and send everyone else running the other way. Yes, it's time to dawn my shorts. Now it's not that I don't have somewhat shapely legs or that I have scars or unsightly veins, no, no, I have something much much worse! My legs are blizzard white, yes, yes, I know they have tanning beds, I know there are self tanning oils/lotions, etc. etc.. However I have found that with the self tanning lotions/oils that it always looks "orange"...at least on me... The tanning bed wrinkles my "young" (quit laughing) body. So, I subject everyone to my blizzard white legs... after their retina's recover, they get over it... and quite frankly, I'm waaaaay more comfortable...so if you think you saw a blizzard walk by you in the summertime...it's just me.... in. shorts.